In this new edition of our Expert Series we hear from Kerry, Family Support Worker at School-Home Support (SHS). She shares her views on how to support families and their children experiencing emotionally based school avoidance with compassion and collaboration with the entire family.
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Kerry has worked within the education sector for over sixteen years, originally being based in various school nurseries, before working in forest schools, and mentoring a number of vulnerable students both 1-1 and through group work. She has been with SHS for the last two and half years and she absolutely loves working on the front line supporting the families on her caseload as a whole, and working within the school environment as a DSL (Designated Safeguarding Lead)
She really loves the field she works in, and feels she is able to work with and understand the families as even more so as she and her son experienced their own trauma so she has first hand experienced on some of the issues that families are faced with, and know there is always light at the end of the tunnel. |
By Kerry Rorrison, SHS Family Support Worker
Emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) is more than just a reluctance to attend school—it’s a deep-rooted response to emotional distress. For many children and young people, it reflects unaddressed trauma, mental health challenges, or difficult life circumstances at home. As a School-Home Support (SHS) practitioner, I’ve seen first-hand how EBSA can affect a child’s education, wellbeing, and future. But I’ve also seen how the right kind of support—holistic, consistent, and compassionate—can make all the difference.
Practitioners like me play an essential role providing practical and emotional support to parents whose children are struggling helping them access the wider support community at what can be a very difficult time for the whole family.
School-Home Support also offers training opportunities for school staff to develop their skills, supervision and guidance on best practice to support families.
EBSA occurs when a child or young person finds it extremely difficult to attend school due to emotional distress. It’s not about disobedience or defiance. For many of the families I support, EBSA stems from serious challenges—bereavement, domestic abuse, trauma, or complex mental health needs. The child might not even be able to explain what’s wrong, they just know that school feels overwhelming.
One child I worked with had lost their father and was struggling with grief. School became too much—it reminded them of what they’d lost and stirred up anxieties they couldn’t manage. For another, witnessing domestic abuse at home made them feel unsafe and hypervigilant. School wasn’t a place of learning—it was a place full of noise, chaos, and expectations they couldn’t meet.
In these situations, it’s not enough to focus on attendance alone. We have to look deeper to understand the root causes of school avoidance.
As mentioned before, EBSA is rarely just a child-level issue; it often signals wider emotional strain as a result of something else going on. That’s why as SHS practitioners, we don’t just work with the child—we work with the whole family.
Often, parents are struggling with their own mental health, trauma histories, or parenting challenges. If a parent is dealing with anxiety or depression, it can be hard for them to support regular routines like getting their child up and out for school.
Sometimes, parents themselves have experienced negative relationships with education, so they may not feel confident in engaging with the school or advocating for their child’s needs. I always approach families with empathy and a support-first approach. Building trust is the first step. I might begin with a home visit just to listen. Once a parent feels heard and supported, we can begin to work together on practical strategies—sleep routines, boundaries, visual schedules—whatever suits their family.
Improving a child’s school attendance means understanding what’s happening beyond the school gate, what challenges the family face and working with parents and carers as partners to address those challenges collaboratively.
Some strategies to support children with emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) and their families might involve:
Mikey, a young boy experiencing severe separation anxiety, had an attendance rate of just 22%. His mum, Katie, struggled to set boundaries due to her own adverse childhood experiences, while his dad was managing severe depression. The family were also experiencing financial hardship and limited access to consistent support. Despite involvement from CAMHS, Mikey’s emotional wellbeing and school attendance remained deeply concerning.
School-Home Support (SHS) practitioner Elizabeth began daily morning visits to help establish routine, boundaries, and reassurance — not just for Mikey, but for his mum as well. Through consistent advocacy and a compassionate, structured approach, Mikey slowly built trust and was able to return to school full-time.
After some time, his engagement in class and relationships with peers improved significantly. He was eventually discharged from CAMHS, with his mum stating that “School-Home Support has had a positive impact on the whole family.”
Mikey’s parents now feel more confident in setting boundaries, managing routines, and supporting their child’s emotional development. As they put it:
“Thanks Liz, you’re amazing. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
One of the biggest barriers to supporting children with EBSA is the lack of timely access to mental health services. Waiting lists are long, and families often don’t meet the threshold for CAMHS support until things are at crisis point. I’ve supported children who’ve been out of school for months, sometimes years, before any mental health intervention was offered.
This is where SHS makes a difference—we don’t wait for a diagnosis or a referral. We start working with the family right away, providing early intervention, advocacy, and emotional support. But we also need systemic change. Children shouldn’t have to “fail” before they get help.
The Government announced a series of measures to support mental health, behaviour and attendance in schools. This is a step in the right direction but I feel it’s not enough.
That’s why we are asking the government to provide a family support worker for every school. Professionals like SHS Practitioners can provide the extra pair of hands schools need, bridge the gap between home and school and coordinate with various services to provide comprehensive support tailored to each family’s needs.
A common trigger for EBSA is school transition—especially the move from primary to secondary. One Year 7 pupil I supported had been doing well in primary school with the help of a caring teacher and SENCO who understood their needs. But when they moved to secondary school, the support disappeared. Staff weren’t aware of the child’s trauma history. Expectations were higher. The environment was louder and more demanding. The result? The child stopped attending.
Transitions must be handled with care. Schools should plan early, involve parents, and ensure that vital information about the child’s needs is shared with all staff. A phased return, familiar faces, and regular check-ins can make the process far less daunting.
And that’s the perfect example that EBSA is a symptom, not just a behaviour. While a child may be the one refusing school, the factors contributing to that refusal are often due to unmet needs.
Our work is grounded in a support-first approach, which means listening without judgment, building trust, and working with families to tackle the root causes that affect a child’s emotional wellbeing. When these causal factors are acknowledged and addressed children have a far greater chance of thriving in both their education, their mental health and their wellbeing.
Supporting children with EBSA means working across services. No single professional can do it alone. At SHS, we work closely with schools, safeguarding teams, social workers, and—where possible—mental health professionals. We act as a bridge between the family and the system, helping everyone to stay connected and focused on the child’s best interests.
When professionals collaborate and communicate effectively, the outcomes for children are so much better. But this takes time, persistence, and sometimes a bit of creative thinking.
EBSA isn’t just about school—it’s about safety, trust, and emotional resilience. It takes a whole-family approach to make lasting change, and that means listening to children, supporting parents, and building strong relationships between home, school, and services.
Every child has the right to feel safe, valued, and included in their education. With the right support, even the most anxious and distressed children can begin to re-engage—and thrive.
